Oddimentary

People, including me, tend to think you need some essential components for happiness, which are in one way or another, hard to acquire. But although I live in a room that has no carpet, is filled with bookshelves stacked with things that aren’t mine, accommodates irrational amount of dust and is quite as homely as a hospital ward - you couldn’t really believe what sorts of sunsets I get here. Behind the huge window, just in my line of vision right now, a dark expanse of glittering houses lies below and in the background, the most magnificent colours I remember seeing. And it happens day to day, right here beyond my window.

It’s finally winter, with lots of snow and numbing wind. I’m already nearly grumbling. My toes, at least, were icicles when I got home today. Thanks to the snow, we’ll be skiing in PE tomorrow and surprisingly, I’m actually going to attend.

School is as crazy as it can get. Due to the lack of clouds characteristic to a high air pressure zone, our school’s foyer is all golden air and shadows in the mornings and that wears off on the day as well. Today for example, we had an absolutely amazing English class where people volunteered to speak of global warming and climatic change, without being “motivated” by threats or negative marks. I managed to land myself an A+ in The Subject Of Subjects (Estonian), although I didn’t quite deserve it. My Chemistry test seemed all right too.

It’s funny to think about those things. I just can’t stop from repeating myself - school is all weird and almost magical now. But then simultaneously I find myself irritated by the fact that I’ve got to sit there, doing nothing but bollocks, instead of being a Person, doing what really matters. Isn’t that a slight bit controversial?

Ah, I’ve come to the topic of Philosophy. God forbid, but I think it’s the keyword of the year. Have I ever been thinking so much before? Maybe it’s the age… But a classmate of mine and I managed to have a half-an-hour debate on whether we’re all just clumps of chemicals and if conscience and spirit exist. It was brilliant, but also horribly, terribly tiring, especially seeing I was the underdog. In yesterday’s Debate club more discussion ensued, about the mark system in PE classes and about talking, debating and being a person in general. I think - and this is not new - that most of the time I just need to talk a lot. The more, the better. It’s like exploring my insides.

I wish I could observe myself more. Our Debate instructor always tells us to watch what we’re doing and try to improve and learn. Which I’d love to do. But routine messes with your head. It really does!

Briefly, when I was just starting out this blog (almost two years ago), I tried to pick a Latin quote for each day, just because it seemed fun. As you can see, it didn’t make it as a tradition, but today, there is something to share-

Nosce te sumus

May the force be with you and may your brains swell with thoughts.